Nasty Battles #2 - Chelsea Vs Liverpool Vs Manchester United Vs Arsenal

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Have you seen four hungry dogs fighting over a scrap of meat or a bone? If not, I can tell you it's no different from the nasty 4-way slugfest that has been on since 1992 -the English Premier League. Although there are bigger teams in the fray, the craziest fandom battles have always been fought  between Arsenal, Liverpool, Manchester United and Chelsea.

Gunning down Arsenal : 

Arsenal fans are dying to quench their thirst. The can't do so - because they haven't won enough cups! Nor have they had enough chances to celebrate a victory with champagne. They're usually not too far from the top but they never actually win -now that's what I call being consistently inconsistent! The only place where you'll find them right at the top is when you arrange the club names in alphabetical order! But inspite of all this,  Arsenal's generosity is laudable: every Christmas they start donating 3 points to every club they play against. As if this wasn't enough, they have this selfless trait of selling off their best players - often to their rival clubs. To add to their already long list of woes, Chelsea boss Mourinho openly called his Arsenal counterpart Wenger a "specialist in failure". *cough cough*. Umm guys, please shut your trophy cabinet, the dust collected in there is giving me bronchitis.


Liverpool "Bites" the Dust : 

Everyone has seen Liverpool fans holding up "YNWA" posters and yelling "You'll Never Walk Alone". However, since that fateful Steven Gerrard slip against Chelsea, "You'll Never Win Again" has become a better description of the club. The way they fall right down the table would make any bunjee-jumper proud; but Bunjee Jumpers get pulled back up again - which is more than what I can say for Liverpool. They haven't had a taste of victory since ages, their striker Luis Suarez couldn't control his hunger and made the infamous decision of biting Chelsea defender Ivanovic. Sorry guys, we do not support this policy of "If you can't beat 'em, just eat 'em" because that would result in all Liverpool fans turning into cannibals. Issued in public interest: Football lovers, if your friend is a Liverpool supporter and they lose against your team, please make sure you keep a safe distance from your friend!


Manchester United - the Dead Devils: 
United did indeed enjoy a lot of glory, until their legendary manager Sir Alex Ferguson retired (my guess is he ran out of the superpower chewing gum which he's never been spotted without). Enter David Moyes who miserably failed in filling up Sir Alex's giant shoes and hence became the butt of countless jokes. Seriously, my uncle earns more Frequent Flyer Miles each week than Moyes earns points in the entire season! Moyes broke several records by leading United to defeats against clubs to which they had never lost in decades. Now that Moyes has been kicked out, they might be heading towards their former glory but only a few months ago, they were so far down the table that you'd have to use a pair of binoculars to spot them from the top.


Chelsea's Blues :

They say change is permanent. Chelsea F.C. seems to have taken it too seriously. In the same time period that Alex Ferguson was in charge of United, Chelsea have changed managers 18 times - in fact the list is so long I could have missed a few names while counting. I won't be surprised if in the next 50 years, 1 of every 5 people you see wouldve  been a Chelsea manager! Anna Hazare can probably go without food for a longer period than Chelsea can go without sacking a manager. Probably inspired by Suarez's policy, Chelsea adopted "If you can't beat 'em, buy 'em". But Chelsea has so much cash, they even began buying players from teams they could beat. They bought and bought and set a fine example of shopping levels for all housewives. Guys, could I borrow some cash from y'all? Not much, I just want to buy a country.


All said and done, it is this intense club rivalry that makes the football fever so infectious; and this bad blood shall keep boiling for eternity.


- Rtr Aman Vasavada

  Rotaract Club of NM College

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