Lights. Camera. RCNM.

  The calm after the turbulence  I didn’t realize when I started referring to myself as her and at some point, I became separate from her. Disassociation is what it is called, meaning to detach or disconnect from something. Now a coping mechanism, it also helps me remember how far I have come. It’s a very normal thing people go through when sometimes they switch into autopilot mode. I think we all look back to the time when we were emotionally unstable, usually during late school years before we started to understand ourselves and what we were looking for. And in my opinion, it is absolutely necessary to go through this period of chaos to find the difference between black and white while we figure out our lives.  As we grow up, we unintentionally start saying or expressing our feelings to people, but the problem arises when many a time they come out in the wrong way. Misdirected anger, non-stop crying, toxic sarcasm, and hate-instigating conversations are the result of suppressed emoti

  Her Emotional Turbulence It always starts with the little things like your leg twitching continuously or seeming to rush into things without patience or getting those butterflies in your stomach over every little thing. For me it was the feeling of unease and nausea whenever I had to do something I was not prepared for, it could be the smallest of tasks imaginable and I would still find it hard to process it let alone complete it. The thoughts of self-doubts creeping on me, step by step, making my confidence go down. At that time, 13- or 14-year-old Krinal didn’t know what suppressed emotions are, she didn’t know there was a healthy way to express these emotions because nobody taught her to. Nobody told her that these negative emotions are not her being a terrible person and this was okay, but only if they were dealt with appropriately. Now, I had two choices since I matured enough to understand, they were to either blame someone or get over it and start doing better. So, I wouldn’t