Digital Diary - Editor's Edition

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In her Space...
Continued…

Scene 2: Take 2 – The protagonist finds a new friend

I always stand by the fact that you need friends to party with at your success but even more to turn towards when you don’t really feel like the best version of yourself. I had successfully put my guard up by deciding not to care about what prejudices and expectations people had about me and by choosing to lend a deaf ear to these people. But who was fooling? What was I… a robot? Nobody can just turn off the emotions and stop caring in the blink of an eye now, can we? So, I had to somehow channelize all of the bottled-up mixed emotions somewhere. I couldn’t talk to my family because of course the brown household things, right? As sweet as my parents have been they also had far more expectations and criticisms stored for me than they ever told me and so I never expected them to understand the place where I was coming from. And then there was Covid obviously  I couldn’t show up at a friend’s place with a pack of ice cream explaining all of what I had been going through. And since I was the “smart and responsible kid” who needed to do nothing but focus on getting to where everybody else wished to see me at the end of my exams. I was off of social media I had no Instagram or Snapchat accounts and so I had almost lost all contact with the”50” so-called friends I had. Imagine going through one of the worst phases you could ever imagine and not having anyone to turn to let alone an actual friend out of the thousand of them on your photo gallery. Sounds very familiar nowadays, doesn’t it?  A perfect example of adding insult to injury. Now, that is when I found an unused diary sitting under the pile of a truckload of utterly useless stuff in my drawer and started writing all of it in there. I also gave it a name – Carilyn which was an acronym for something even lamer than the name itself. I literally poured my heart out in there. Because trust me sometimes it’s not the advice that you need but the patience. Patience from someone to hear you out, to not judge, to not tell you that everything is going to be just fine because you know that’s not true. Cut 2 - Guess who’s here today cringing about the imaginary friend I had made up back then. That’s right it’s me … way past that. Interestingly, I knew I was over all of it when I no more had the urge to pen it all down. Reading back once I realized it had been 28 days since I last wrote in it. That was the one time I had an inexplicable relish of letting a “friend” go.

Rtr. Krina Bhavsar,

Editor.

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